| Sheryl Sandberg claims that who we choose as a life partner is possibly the biggest determinant of our success in business. It’s also widely touted that the quality of our relationships – and I will include our relationship with money in this one – determines the overall quality of our life. I’ve been pondering this since my husband and I celebrated 10 years marriage last week – successfully. Now, I’ve made my share of mistakes in my lifetime, but I seem to have gotten this pillar right. I married someone who loves me unconditionally, is kind, patient, supportive and is a great father. That’s not to suggest we haven’t had our fair share of struggles; the onset of the 7-year itch with two young boys while working demanding city-based jobs felt like a perpetual skin rash at times. However, if I strip things back, we share a set of common values that has provided the staying power for us to work through things. Where we vastly differ, mind you, is in our default money programming. His money mindset is naturally more abundance-based whereas mine is historically more scarcity-based. Without awareness of one another’s money story, we would encounter unnecessary conflict at times because we were interpreting and experiencing the same set of data through very different cognitive and emotional filters. The process of money coaching has, in my view, helped us to navigate our differences by enabling us to see the contents of the money jar through a more neutral i.e. emotionally discharged lens. It’s also catalysed more open dialogue around money in our relationship including what our respective roles are in managing our financial affairs and how we will jointly approach bigger financial decisions together. With money being one of the biggest contributors to stress and reliable predictors of divorce in relationships, it is so important that we take the time to understand one another’s money history. Some questions you could start by asking one another: · What was it like growing up financially for you, what were your parents like with money? · What do you believe about money, do you see it e.g. as good, bad, scarce, abundant? · What is important to you about having money, what does it allow you to do, be, have or experience? · How do you think we should approach financial decisions in our relationship? Responses to these questions will provide enhanced awareness and understanding of one another’s internal money programming, from which positive change can occur. Are Your Ready To Explore Your Money Story? If the subject of money is an ongoing stressor in your life whether due to your own money programming or incongruence with your partner’s, I’m here to help. Cite this BLOG article to receive a complimentary 45-minute money coaching consult with me. During our time together, we can discuss anything in relation to financial values and goal-setting, understanding your money mindset, day-to-day money management, longer-term wealth creation strategies, or something else. I will also offer you 20% off my standard pricing both for standalone and program pricing, should you choose to enrol within a week post our initial session. If you’re ready to embark on the path to personal and financial transformation, then book a discovery call with me HERE. Yours in Wealth, Anna x |
